Do you actually feel brave right now? Or are you comparing yourself to other mothers who appear to be in similar situations, seeming braver from the outside, wondering how they managed it?

Ha!

After my years of experience with moms with toxic Ex partners let me assure you: You’re pretty darn brave!

You have no idea how much courage you have inside you!

There is a heroine in you that you haven’t brought out yet. That you don’t see yet.

Every now and then, she navigates her way to the surface.

Like when you moved out, for example. Or when you bravely intervened when a teacher was savagely attacking your child.

I once came across this saying in a wonderful meditation:

“What is the difference between a coward and a brave person? Both feel the same fear. Only the coward pauses in front of it and stops, while the brave person just keeps going.”

I also had another realization (warning – it might sound a bit cliché now)

Ready? *drum roll*

| Moms got moxie! Always!

So. Are you liking this witty little quip I came up with?

Sweetheart, I’m just glad to find any way to assure you that you are a courageous woman, regardless of the tactics your toxic ex may use to torment, manipulate, or diminish you.

That’s your current situation, but it doesn’t have to stay that way.

And it won’t – if you don’t let it.

I’ve written it before, but I can’t state it often enough:

Your current situation is the result of many micro decisions you made in the past

If you want your future to be different, you need to make different choices today.

If, in the past, you complied with everything your ex asked of you and it didn’t improve matters, then it’s time to stop doing that and instead listen to your inner voice. What do you actually want?

If you feel helpless because you think everyone is against you and expects you to behave a certain way, then it’s high time to start learning today to let go of seeking others’ approval.

A courageous step forward doesn’t have to be enormous

A courageous path is made up of many small individual steps.

I don’t expect you to quit your job or move to a strange city where you don’t know anyone just to create distance from the toxic ex.

One courageous first step could be to establish a specific boundary by creating a separate email account for communication with your ex, while cutting off all Whatsapp communication.

Or, if you haven’t yet summoned the courage to leave: consider having an initial, informal discussion with a lawyer before allowing your controlling partner to confine you to the guest room at home, effectively making you a slave for several months because they refuse to let you move out with the children.

Courage also means that you stand up for yourself and seek help

Amidst all the challenges, difficulties, and uncertainties you’re facing, this situation also presents a significant opportunity for you.

It’s the opportunity to awaken and showcase the best and strongest aspects of yourself that may still lie dormant within you.

I’m thrilled to assist you with this, and it brings me immense joy to witness the emergence of your inner pearls of strength and courage!

Picture yourself in the future, perhaps one or three years from now, and envision how confidently you’ll be able to navigate the challenges posed by the child’s father. Consider the attitude you’ll adopt, regardless of his actions.

Yes, even if he manipulates the children (and he most certainly will) – and even if there are still court cases three years from now – can you still imagine looking back and thinking to yourself:

Wow – what a strong and brave mom I have become!

This is indeed possible – and I am currently experiencing this with many mothers whom I actively support. And I can assure you that they all felt helpless at the beginning.

My work with Midlife-Boom is fully focused on supporting you on your journey, and always right where it burns.

You look around after a while and marvel – gosh, what an exciting journey to myself! I am a different woman than I was a year ago.

Your very own individual path eventually brings out your strongest and bravest self.

You can’t change the ex – but what about your child?

There’s another aspect to consider here that I believe is immensely important: What do you think your child will think of you later on? Say, when he or she is a young adult and comprehends what you achieved during this time?

What example are you going to give your child?

What you learn on your own journey, you automatically and non-verbally pass on to your child as well. 

Your path can be easier

At this moment, you might perceive your journey as incredibly challenging. As a result, you feel exhausted and weak.

What if I suggested that your journey doesn’t have to be as difficult as you’re currently experiencing? What if much of the drama and heaviness is mainly in your head?

What if your journey is challenging, but you will find it easier because you don’t have to walk the path alone in a strong and loving community? Wouldn’t that be a huge reassurance?