How you can tell on the first date if a man is a narcissist


OK. So, after a long period of introspection, you have decided to let a new man into your life again.

Wonderful! I am happy for you about this another milestone in your life after the relationship with the toxic ex.

After all, you don’t want the guy to be the miserable bottom of your love life!

All that matters to me is the attitude from which you are now proceeding and what thoughts you are having.

It makes a big difference whether you feel incomplete without a man by your side or whether you think that a new partner can make your rich, fulfilled life even more fulfilling like the icing on the cake.

It makes a difference whether you just long for someone to be able to take over some of the work you do every day – or whether you want to get involved in a new, exciting world of someone else who may have completely different interests and pursues hobbies more than you.

I would also strongly advise you not to venture out into the dating arena out of loneliness. Please be completely honest with yourself.

Such factors make you vulnerable and can provide opportunities for the next narcissist in your life.

What you definitely don’t want to have anymore is another highly toxic man who makes your everyday life with the child miserable and doesn’t let you find emotional peace!

To prevent this from happening again, you must first know your own values ​​and needs . Once you know this, you can define your most important boundaries.

If you know your boundaries, you are clear. If you are clear, you appear confident. If you are confident, you will scare away all narcissists who can only latch on to the underlying insecurity and neediness of their counterpart.

You have to know your boundaries so that you radiate clarity right from the start that acts like a kind of invisible cushion around you.

If you take care of yourself so that your needs are satisfied – by giving yourself the love you need to be happy or by, for example, facing up to your life’s task and making yourself independent of an employer – then you no longer need to give this task to a potential partner.

All of these are prerequisites that will best equip you for your search for an empathetic man.

That and this little checklist here, which I would like to present to you:

Invitation to the FeelBold Friday

Subscribe now to my free weekly newsletter

To the newsletter >>>

How to recognize a narcissist on a first date

  1. Does he seek eye contact, listen to you and ask questions (very important!)?
  2. How does he talk about others? Full of understanding, reflective, empathetic? Or pejorative and with contempt in his voice?
  3. The problems of the world: Does he have a completely simple solution for everything and does he let people discuss it or does he get excited?
  4. What image does he draw of himself? A narcissist considers himself grandiose and often exaggerates his successes without measure.
  5. How does he treat the waiter or waitress in the café or pub where you met for a first date?
  6. Try teasing him or drawing him out and see what happens.
  7. Ask him what has been the best thing that has happened in his life so far and see if that would be great for you too.
  8. Also ask what has been the worst thing that has happened in his life so far. How has he dealt with it? Does a lot of self-pity ring out? Was he always the victim?
  9. Responsibility in general: How much responsibility has he taken on in his life so far? You can’t ask that directly, of course – everyone would say what they want to hear. Does he take care of his parents? Does he do volunteer work? Does he take care of his environment? Is he more of a caretaker or a complainer?
  10. A father’s lobbyist will always put himself forward as a great dad if you want to listen to whether a father also takes good care of the children. But ask what is the most outstanding characteristic of his child. Is the child just like him then, or does he recognize the child’s other self? And does he perhaps even have appreciation for the mother?
  11. How does he talk about the ex? Let that sink in. Of course, the violent ex-stories should not be exchanged in all details long and wide right on the first date! But one or the other hint may be made.
  12. What is the man’s attitude towards life? What do you think?
  13. How important is the recognition of material values such as money and house and boat to him? Does he make it clear to you right away who you’re dealing with, and that you’re allowed to be in awe now, please?
  14. How do you feel after the conversation? Do you feel elated and light – or empty and sucked dry?

See the list on Instagram. Like and share!

Do you want to feel confident about managing child hand-offs with your toxic ex?


Not all successful people are pathological, toxic narcissists – and not all narcissists are successful people who have achieved something! In my opinion, the biggest losers are those with the most fantastic ideas, which unfortunately never saw the light of day – and it was always the others’ fault.

In the past, it may have been common practice that you had to ruthlessly extend your elbows in order to be successful at work and in your career – but there are definitely empathetic, very successful entrepreneurs and managers who have chosen a different path today have the same problem finding a suitable partner!

So don’t let your date’s money blind you or put you off.

The best way to explore your future soulmate is still through your values.

Only if they match can you be confident that you are right this time.

Let him tell you what is really important to him in life and what means a lot to him. Values ​​can just be well-sounding words – but lived values ​​are always connected with a lot of passion and heart

There are so many values – I could name a number of values ​​that I find important and beautiful, but my top three to five values ​​are the absolute must-haves.

It doesn’t really matter whether the man plays football or prefers to watch Germany’s Next Top Model (I don’t have much interest in either) – as long as the values ​​match, these are negligible little things.

How are things looking for you now, sweetheart? Are you already dating and are now quite certain you will never get involved with a narcissist again? Then please leave a comment below. Thank you very much ?

Invitation to the FeelBold Friday

Subscribe now to my free weekly newsletter

To the newsletter >>>