How to achieve your financial freedom from the toxic ex


“Financial freedom from the toxic ex? How in the world is that going to happen? My ex doesn’t pay child support, I have to live on welfare, and now I’ve collected another rent increase!”

Is that what you’re thinking right now? Then please read on.

Or maybe you’re standing here:

“I do have a job that I love – but I don’t earn nearly enough to secure a carefree retirement. These jobs are just underpaid, I’m just spinning my wheels – the money comes in and is gone right away.”

Or here:

“I earn well and have a good job – but have reached my career limits in my job, because as a mother I have to keep so many balls up and now I can’t rock x overtime hours like my younger single colleagues. I don’t have opportunities to even think about my financial freedom.”

You know what all these sentences have in common?

They are all thoughts centered on the fact that OTHER people or circumstances have to change first in order for you to be okay.

First the ex has to pay child support (so I can afford something).

First society has to change (so my job pays better).

First the male bashing in the executive ranks has to stop (so I can climb the corporate ladder as a single mom).

When you think like this, you make yourself mentally dependent on these circumstances. You accept the current reality, accept it and don’t question it.

That’s easy – after all, these topics are constantly regurgitated in the media.

The problem: All of these “reasons” are circumstances that are out of your control and you lack control.

You can’t force the ex to pay child support on a regular basis.
You can’t immediately make your job as an elementary school teacher pay adequately if there has to be a societal change for it first.
And you can’t eliminate the rope networks in your company from one day to the next.

Exactly this knowledge makes you helpless, depending on your temperament also angry, but ultimately leads to resignation.

It is what it is. Shrug.

I can understand that, Sweetheart, if you feel that way and reject the idea of financial freedom for you far from you.

I can also understand if that’s why you wouldn’t dream of buying even one of my online courses like DEXKADIMA®, Court Royal® or PowerBrainDetox.

When you’re juggling between all the bills and everyday necessities, it’s hard to allow yourself mental luxuries every now and then, too.

But I’m venturing a bold statement here, my dear:

Sure you can achieve your financial freedom from the toxic ex!

You’re just giving yourself a pretty big leg up right now.

Because thinking in the ways described above keeps you small. You keep yourself in a small box when you keep accepting these circumstances as truth and believe what other people tell you.

When you stop asking questions.

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​With the right questions you develop yourself further

This simple question alone could bring down your current thought construct – the way you perceive your world and accept it as given and unchangeable:

“Is this really true? Are there really no single mothers who have achieved financial freedom?”

Ask yourself this question, and Joanne K. Rowling, the creator of Harry Potter, surely comes to mind.

And then you might think, “Yeah, THAT one. But I can’t write.”

With prominent examples, you see the career as unattainable. After all, you only see the admirable result, and merely imagine how many hours the woman must have spent writing at night. If you don’t like writing yourself, it then seems incredibly tedious.

“Nah. I could never do that!”

Even though I don’t know Joanne personally and haven’t read a biography of her: I’ll bet you that she loved writing and therefore it wasn’t a hassle for her.

Talent and having fun doing it are then one.

At the same time, being able to write is only one of the talents that can lead to financial freedom, sweetheart.

It doesn’t matter if you are currently unemployed or a department manager in an international corporation:

Your career choice – happy or unhappy – says nothing about what you’re really, really good at and passionate about.

How could it?

Some of us had to decide what we wanted to be when we were 16 or 19. What did we know about ourselves back then? What did we know about the activities that put us in the flow?

Which students from secondary school onwards get into flow in class and therefore know exactly that this – and nothing else – is what they want to do when they grow up, and please regardless of what their parents hoped for?

And therein lies the key.

The money will follow you if you do what you enjoy and what gets you into the flow.

You get into flow when you forget about time and lose yourself doing something.

For Joanne, that was writing.

Others totally love taking photos or creating videos. Others draw. Or paint. Or dance. Or show and explain. Or tinker. Or sew. Or knitting. Or design. Or invent.

Maybe this thought will help you:

“I chose this profession on my way to becoming an adult, and I know about it well now. I have a roof over my head and a filled refrigerator, and we basically lack nothing elemental. But there’s more in store for me, and I’m curious to see what other success awaits me.”

That would be step one in financial freedom from the toxic ex: being open and curious that things are getting better for you and that you haven’t reached the end yet.


Do you want to feel confident about managing child hand-offs with your toxic ex?


Step two would then be to ask yourself this next question:

“What ONE activity could I do all day without getting bored and being in a good mood afterwards, full of energy and satisfaction?”

That last part is important: If all you crave after stressful days is your couch, an ice pack, and boob tube on, those are distractions and addictive substances to numb you out.

The things that you have an incredible talent for and that come totally easy to you and are a blast to do, fulfill you, give you energy, put you in a good mood and ultimately make you happy.

Your confidence and trust in yourself grow as soon as you feel that everything you do is right.

It is missing when what you are doing does not fulfill you and leaves an emptiness.

The question you might then ask yourself:

“What other person’s problem could I solve with this talent and my enthusiasm?”

Sometimes the answer doesn’t come immediately, but if you’re mindful and connected to yourself, you’ll follow an impulse or two and BOOM! comes the realization.

I definitely encourage you to give the questions above time and space.

And priority.

Every now and then, take mental space away from the antics of the toxic ex and go into yourself.

Take your focus away from the Ex, and shift it towards yourself.

Exactly with such questions you can do that.

Once you know the answers, it’s: more of it.

More time for these activities.
More practice.
Build up more knowledge.

And suddenly you become a specialist in what you get into the flow and forget the time. A sought-after expert.

Because don’t think that what comes so easily to you is also easy for others!

Nope nope.

Never accept the thoughts of other people who lead a life that you would never want to lead and that you would even be afraid of.

Look for examples of people who want more: more happiness, more love, more financial freedom, more choices.

Life has so much more in store for you, sweetheart!

Yes, even financial freedom!

All it takes is “just” an inner mind shift from obstructive beliefs to answers to the questions, “Is this really true?” and “If THEY did it, then it must be possible for me, too?”

Of course, in the beginning, you don’t know how your path will unfold to the shred. Do you think Joanne would have known?

All the answers to “How?” come once you start. Step by step.

As a coach, I work intensely on new beliefs. In my exclusive Club, I ask questions EVERY day that move women forward and challenge previous thoughts.

Especially when it comes to money beliefs, there is plenty of room for improvement for us moms!

I flank this with all kinds of specials like the Wealth Game, which is fun and has already brought nice financial surprises to women who are open to new ideas and have been able to get involved.

Don’t stay in your thought box, sweetheart.

Come out of it and open yourself up to a world that holds more for you than you can imagine right now.

It all starts in YOUR mind.

Even your financial freedom from the toxic ex.

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