Have you also asked yourself from time to time, what’s it like for Heidi at home? Who is she, of all people, who thinks she can give me tips on how to become strong again despite my toxic ex-partner? Or even to want to coach me?

Well, basically I am just as much a mother as you are.

I, too, always have doubts about whether I am really doing everything in my power to provide my child with the best possible support in our life situation.

I, too, have fears when vacations are coming up, because then I imagine what he will do again to throw several sticks between my legs.

I, too, fear the hateful stare that can hit me at any time in a face-to-face encounter.

I, too, worry about what will become of my child and whether it will be able to withstand the perpetual manipulations of its narcissistic environment.

And again and again I ask myself: Am I really living up to my role? Can I actually carry the responsibility?

No, I have definitely not eaten wisdom with spoons.

But I have learned to deal with these fears and worries better. So that they don’t gain the upper hand over my life, but on the contrary, I use them to grow from them and become strong.

I have to work out aspects again and again when they enter my life. I have to follow clear guidelines – such as the main rule “No Contact!” – again and again.

This fear that my ex would take my son away from me. He so quickly had a new, young wife, whom he later married and with whom he then also brought a second child into the world. He had hinted at it not only once.

I was almost going crazy with fear that I might die too soon. What would then become of my child?

In addition the innumerable ugly child deliveries.

The countless humiliations at the front door or on the street or at festive occasions.

The countless irresponsible actions the ex pulled with the toddler, which stunned me as a mother.

The loneliness. Especially that! Even before the separation, I always had the place full of people – after that, no one seemed to know me anymore.

Then there was the move to another neighborhood. All strangers. All intact families (or so I thought).

And I stood there with my destroyed ideals. And a defiant toddler who could yell the place down several times a day.

Being strong is different.

Looking back, I still think: It could have been much more difficult.

Because if there’s anything I’ve learned in the last two years, it’s that there are much nastier and meaner toxic people than my own ex-partner.

Who drag the mother of their children to court with unrelenting harshness to the point of no return. For years.

Who do everything in their power to ensure that the child stays with them and then try to prevent contact with the mother under all circumstances.

Who use money as a means of pressure to continue to exert power and control.

Who stalk and terrorize the mother.

No, I guess I was lucky. Whew.

I’m doing well today.

In fact, better than ever.

Even better than before the relationship with my son’s child father, and back then I felt like I could unhinge the world!

I owe my current emotional state to the intense mental work I’ve done on myself over the past 3 years.

There was a lot of trial and error, but also a lot of confirmation. Fine tuning is done every now and then.

Is everything always okay at home now?

Are you kidding? My son is a teenager! Every now and then he yells at me that it’s much nicer at Dad’s – especially when I set limits for him.

It regularly knocks my socks off when he lets loose misogynistic sayings or you can tell how much he is being manipulated.

Sure, I apply what I preach to my ex-partner myself. But I still make mistakes. And learn from them again.

Parenting with a toxic ex-partner is no walk in the rose garden.

And that’s exactly why I can reach out to you today and help you up the cliff.

It is precisely with my background – my own experiences, my self-experienced powerlessness, my helplessness at the time – that I am the expert for you if you have a toxic ex-partner with whom you share joint custody.

Because I can empathize with where you are right now.

And I can see which direction your finish line is, which you can’t yet see in the fog.

You don’t have to prove anything to me. You don’t have to try to put into words the enormity of what you’ve experienced.

I just believe you.

I am strong today. Stronger than ever.

And you are welcome to take this strength with you.

It took me almost 8 years to have clarity and become strong.

Today, I know what you need as a mom with a toxic ex-partner:

• What thoughts you need to think better – and how to train that.
• Which tools support you mentally on your way
• Which tangible tips you can implement immediately to make yourself feel better
• How to speak in court with self-awareness and inner clarity
• How not to let yourself become a victim
• How to move toward a new, independent future and make narcissistic toxic men a thing of the past once and for all.

I’ll help you work on your emotional and mental attitude.

Your child needs you strongly!

Do your kid a favor.