Stay brave


Every Monday, my members in the German Club of Courageous Mothers receive a very special MutMach newsletter. MutMach-Monday is a completely different number than MutMach-Friday, which goes out weekly to my subscribers.

In MutMach Monday, I accompany the mothers in the club as a coach, who once again highlights special aspects in the community, deepens them, questions them further and thus invites them to reflect.

The MutMach-Monday is therefore intensive coaching for my members – as long as they get involved…

As a rule, I deal more intensively with an impulse from the previous week, because every day my members receive a specific thought stimulus from me – all with the goal of becoming more relaxed and confident in everyday life and in being.

The other day, I wrote a MutMach Monday that is so important that I want to share these thoughts with more than just my members in the club.

It’s quite possible – my members’ reactions to MutMach Monday indicate – that it will polarize significantly and turn your own thinking on its head. And you may even end up being angry with me!

So I invite you to just read this article and observe what my prompt triggers in you, while still remaining open to a different approach to thinking.

My approach is definitely advanced and does not conform to the mainstream. But you’re reading this blog for a reason, and I’m not writing for the mainstream, just for you as a mom with a toxic Ex partner!

I always have you in mind and in my heart when I think of thinking tools and new approaches for you.

And in this case, I just know more than I did a year ago. I, too, am evolving – and I grant you this privilege, too.

Invitation to the FeelBold Friday

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I follow a strong credo:

“Where focus goes, energy flows” has influenced me since I first read the saying years ago in Anthony Robbins, an American super-coach and my personal hero.

Where you direct your focus, that’s where you direct your energy.

Everything flows in that direction.

If you’re sitting at home all day thinking about what your Ex is cooking up right now: your energy is with him.

When you do something and think about how he’s going to react to it: your energy is with him.

Your thoughts are your energy.

If you have fearful thoughts, you produce fearful energy.

If you have strong, courageous thoughts, you produce courageous, strong energy.

Quite simple really, isn’t it?

And then a pandemic wave comes along and bam! an incredible wave of fear and uncertainty flows in that direction.

Our thoughts turn to the darkest scenarios, fed by the news and the dozens of special news bulletins on television, and flanked by drastic images that eat into our brains and, with constant repetition, become firmly entrenched there.

And now this: A war in Ukraine, instigated by Putin, whose Ex-wife very probably corresponds to my customer avatar 100% and who, should she ever do my quiz, would very probably get type 1 out of it. With 3 asterisks on top.

I have watched with one eye over the past few weeks as international diplomacy has struggled with the man and how adept he has been at stalling and draining everyone.

I have watched it with a scientific interest and kept thinking:

“My” mothers experience this in the child welfare office and in court all the time.

The lying.

The stalling.

The ruthless carrying out of a perfidious plan, which was nurtured and refined over years.

The helplessness of someone “just doing” what is unimaginable.

Who breaks international charters and negates promises.

Who turns situations around argumentatively as it suits him, and there are always people who believe him.

He does not even shy away from assassinations in order to get rid of disagreeable opponents.

International diplomacy looks quite naive next to such people with their moral “bravado”.

It is also very significant that sanctions do not impress such people. That’s the bad thing – it won’t affect Putin himself, but his people, and therefore he doesn’t care.

We know enough of such people, don’t we, sweetheart?

You may not believe me, but I have actually always been a politically moved woman.

I grew up hearing World War 2 stories in school and knew only one thing: it must never be like that again!

When I developed Court Royal, I had Sophie Scholl in mind as she defended her cause in court with her back straight.

Yet I delete posts in the Strong Mothers Facebook group when women vent about what’s happening in Ukraine right now.

A contradiction? Not if you’ve been following me for a while and remember how powerful the impact of your thoughts is on your emotional state.

And that emotional state makes the difference between fear and balance.

So my big request to you:

Pay closer attention to your focus and your thoughts now in these days and coming weeks.

Be sure to stay with yourself and your child.

You yourself cannot stop Putin.

That’s not your job, that’s the job of the people we elected.

Remember, whenever you talk about the situation in Russia or Ukraine, you are reinforcing fear and negative energy. You are inviting discussions that can build an even bigger cloud of fear.

This cloud of fear can very diffusely cloud everything around you.

Attach “and I want more of it!” to every sentence you say out loud.

Also remember that by thinking through horror scenarios, you are not creating a solution.

On the contrary, you create problems in your immediate environment, because your brain cannot distinguish a wish from a horror scenario.

Please don’t get me wrong: Of course we all need to know what is happening in the world and we should not “look away” heartlessly.

Nevertheless, please don’t “gift” your brain with horrible images of war. Listen only to radio news, then you are informed about what is going on, but you don’t have the pictures.

Restrain yourself from commenting on social media.

Do you want to feel confident about managing child hand-offs with your toxic ex?


The only thing you can do:

If you have acquaintances or even family in Ukraine, ask them what you can do for them.

If you can, donate to relief organizations.

And if you have friends or family in Russia, ask them what you can do for them.

If your community calls on you to host refugees, clear a room and your guest couch.

What will not and never work:

Thinking and arguing and discussing and getting upset with each other.

You can contribute nothing, really nothing with your thoughts or with your talking to a solution!

The only thing you will achieve: That you increase your own, personal fear cloud with it.

And if there’s one thing you don’t need in your situation with an aggressor of your own on the other side of parenthood, it’s an ever-growing, diffuse cloud of fear dominating your emotions and thoughts.

That is:

If you don’t know anyone in Ukraine or Russia, you’ve already donated, and you can’t take anyone in your home – please focus on your current life and trust that doors will always open, no matter what.

I know this is difficult, but this is your job now.

Your child needs you to be safe and confident right now.

I will be happy to help you nurture that confidence

I am part of several international coaching networks and have since met countless strong power women who are building an existence in the online world with a lot of heart and courage.

The male aggressiveness gets an opposite pole, sweetheart.

A powerful, very powerful countermovement is emerging, particularly favored by Corona, because many more people have now had to consider earning their money in a different way and are thus founding online companies.

Interestingly, it’s mainly women and mothers who are stepping forward here, pushing a bow wave of warmth, drive, love and determination.

Women who are on the move with strong missions. Who offer powerful help and products from their own dire stories.

I can assure you: What we are currently experiencing with male aggressiveness has run its course in the long run.

We women currently have much, much more chances than our mothers’ generations ever had to change the societies of this world from within with our attitude and by spreading encouraging thoughts and female strength.

Therefore, my big request to you:

Do not choose in your mind the power and might of male aggression, but the power and might of us women.

No matter for which side you decide mentally: You will strengthen it either way.

We women have already accomplished so much – this time we can do it too!

I believe in you and in your strength, your feminine wisdom and in your intuition, which will always guide you correctly.

Invitation to the FeelBold Friday

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