Sometimes it would be wishful if every big city had a Speakers’ Corner like London’s in Hyde Park.

Anyone can stand there and give a speech without formal announcement. Apart from the Queen and the royal family, everything can be discussed.

Aside from the fact that I would really hate to stand up in public in such a place and give a speech to strangers, I would have a lot to say.

My need to communicate is great.

Something like this:

Young women!!! Listen to me!

This period between 25 and 30 is a fantastic period of life. Most of you have finished your studies and are proving yourself in your first or second job. All doors are open.

At this age you are setting the course for your future!

Of course you have the right to make your own mistakes, and I don’t want to deny you that. You learn an incredible amount through mistakes.

But if you’re going to make mistakes, do it at work. Screw up a project. Take shit from the boss. Make the next one better.

Or become self-employed. Fall on your face, get up again and do something new.

These are good mistakes that will help you move forward.

Perfectionism is stupid. A life without mistakes is simply unthinkable and would not be desirable at all.

But you don’t have to make every mistake that generations of women before you have made.

You can also learn from the mistakes of older women – this means that the previous generation’s mistake will be fulfilled twice or threefold if it at least prevents you from making the same mistake.

Here is a list of the top mistakes that a woman in her 30s can make, and that we mothers – from 35 upwards – have already dealt with:

Ignoring a bad gut feeling about your lover

Empathetic women in particular tend to laugh at the wrong people. Most of the time, the gut feeling reports reliably and quickly when a strange sentence is uttered that reveals the friend’s true self for a brief moment.

It is important not to ignore this gut feeling or to overlook it.

The majority of mothers with toxic exes can remember a moment like this at the very beginning of their relationship with the man.

Provide your partner financially for years

Of course, partnership also means “sticking with each other through thick and thin”. But if there has been an imbalance in the distribution of financial responsibility for years, then something is wrong.

Change the division or change the partner.

Take out an expensive loan together that you could never afford alone

Banks usually always require both signatures. But if you could never meet the rate with your salary alone, you should refrain from doing so and refuse. Especially if you plan to start a family and you want to focus primarily on looking after the children (keyword for you: “part-time salary”).

Having to file for personal bankruptcy because your partner has gone off with someone younger is no fun.

And no – you don’t need a cottage to raise a family! If you actually can’t afford it – stay away from the loan agreement!

Constantly paying off debts from your partner

Nope. Debts that you caused yourself may also be repaid yourself. Others can also experience the healing effects of mistakes, not just us!

Move into your partner’s house

The Lord himself built, and now you go to him? He can’t finance the garden now? Be aware that in this case you are giving him the money as long as you are not registered in the land register.

If that’s what you want, it’s ok (who doesn’t like giving gifts?). But don’t complain afterwards if all the money you invested is gone and you can’t expect any compensation when you have to move out again.

Personally, I am a fan of “ new happiness – new home for both”, but I also realize that this is not always appropriate when it comes to property.

Still – I would insist.

Leave the finances to the man

No, sweetheart. Math used to be stupid? Bank statements are boring and stuffy? Muckfuck.

You have the choice: Either look at your bank statements with joyful anticipation in 15 years or be afraid and worried about having to keep an eye on the negative number and not knowing which money you should use to buy the children’s lunch. No joke.

It is your responsibility to take control of your life and fill your financial reserves so that you are prepared for difficult times.

You cannot and must not delegate this.

It should also be a given that if your husband wants your signature on anything, you read through everything and understand it.

A loving partner will always want you to be okay when they are no longer with you and will have no problem with you behaving that way. Everyone else feels threatened when you have a better idea of ​​where things are going financially.

Then you know what to do anyway. Take your legs in your hands and run. Fast!

Give the man power of attorney over his own account

Woe! I’ll come over and shake you!

Think about a good structure right from the start – joint checking accounts for everyday expenses and savings accounts for larger purchases are wonderful.

Your own accounts remain inviolable.

Getting married without a marriage contract

In the past – in my time – people were embarrassed if their husbands offered them a marriage contract before the wedding and they immediately doubted their unselfish love.

But the laws used to protect mothers better.

Today we women have to learn to think differently and have notarized confirmation of how we imagine family life as a couple. Which of the two sets back time and how this is compensated for. That’s fair and if it doesn’t work out – and there’s a damned chance that that will happen – both have clarity about the legal situation.

Allowing yourself to be put under pressure by your biological clock

For years you may not have felt like having a family, and sooner than you think you’ll be in your late 30s. Nevertheless – panic at the end of the goal is the worst advice.

If you don’t have an absolutely good feeling about a man, don’t do it.

Especially if

• he can’t handle money,
• a row of women have paved the path in front of you and the scratches from the chests of drawers from predecessor 1 – predecessor 5 can still be seen on the hallway wallpaper,
• he has an addiction problem,
• he spitefully insults people who are more successful than him,
• you remain emotionally starved in his presence.

You can also build a nice life without children.

Your most important task that you now have in this wonderful time as a young, confident, independent woman:

Get to know your true self and answer these big questions for yourself:

• Who are you?
• What are you really really good at?
• Which values ​​are important to you?
• What should your contribution to a mutually friendly society look like? What can you actively do about it?
• How would you like to live as an old woman?

When you know this, you can build a vision of your life.

If you have your vision in your mind’s eye early on, you can make good life decisions that will get you exactly there.

You will seize opportunities that you wouldn’t even recognize now.

Then, when you get to know a man, you can compare your values ​​with his. A wonderful approach, because if you don’t agree on this, he’s not the right person.

Point.