​If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, then you’ve probably developed a feel for the way I generally tackle problems: direct, pragmatic, with both feet on the ground – and with a hell of a lot of empathy for you and all readers who are currently at different stages after a break-up.

Hopefully you’ve also noticed that I’m definitely encouraging you to open yourself up to a new man so that the relationship with your Ex isn’t the last love in your life.

Sweetheart, life is too short and too precious to be sad that it was so bad with the last one and that you made a complete mistake!

Today, I’d like to invite you to bring in another component that isn’t quite so grounded and earthy, and I’m venturing into a field in which I have no experience myself.

Would you like to experiment?

Because today it’s getting esoteric. Or spherical. Oh, call it what you like.

Not just tidying up the soul

You know I’m very strict and firm with you on this one: you won’t be spared internal navel-gazing if you come out of an intense relationship with a suspected narcissist.

You need to know what partsmake you attracted to these men and what makes you fall for them.

That you know the red flags so that you can see these guys 10 miles upwind and protect yourself better by getting out of their way in time.

All of this takes time – and it requires work on you, which is not always fun or pleasant.

Today I would like to bring another aspect into your considerations:

How are you going to invite a new love into your life and into your heart if your home is still full of things that have bound up the negative energy of the Ex?

I warned you: it’s going to be spherical!

Do you occasionally realize what happens to you when you touch or use things in your everyday life that are from him or that he determined when something had to be bought?

Quite often, he has even had a say in what you should buy with your money – e.g. which dress, which furniture for the children’s room, which car you drive.

How often did you give in because he obviously cared much more than you did? Or so that he doesn’t get upset because you don’t share his taste?

Or you trusted him that this car was really “enough”, but it basically just expressed the low esteem he had for you?

His presents!

I remember one Christmas when I received several packages from my partner at the time – and every single one was a slap in the face for me. I was a mess afterwards and felt sick as a dog.

A book about unconventional home decorating – but I wasn’t even allowed to ask for one of my pictures to be hung up (I had moved into his house at the time). Not to mention, I would have demanded major measures to realize even one idea from the book!

A fountain pen so that I could finally write more beautifully.

A cheap Chinese radio with a cassette compartment (!) so that we could listen to music in our office room. Only: I don’t listen to music while working, and I didn’t have any more cassettes at the time.

A top bestseller perfume in a mega size. No, we’re not talking about Chanel No. 5.

I should have left right then! (should have, would have, bicycle chain…)

But I couldn’t put my finger on it that precisely at the time. I was upset, confused, my soul cried out – but at the time I didn’t give it any value and didn’t listen to it.

And you know what?

Even though that was over a decade ago, I still had that stupid perfume until last year.

Because I’m pragmatic like that.

If I don’t have the money for my favorite perfume right now, at least I still have that in a pinch.

And the environment! I can’t just throw the full bottle away, can I?

The radio has only recently been thrown out and replaced by a smart internet radio from a well-known manufacturer (without CD! without cassette!). Of course, I had taken the old one with me to the new apartment – so at least I had something.

Every day when I switched it on, a brief spark of anger flashed.

I also didn’t have so much money that I wanted to replace it with a new appliance in the first place. There were so many other priorities!

​What about your self-esteem?

How much can it cost to finally make that nagging little feeling a thing of the past?

Ask yourself: How do you feel when you put on the jewelry he gave you?

How do you feel when you use the scarf he once gave you with a generous gesture after an argument?

Do you still have books that you may have accidentally packed when you moved house?

Dishes that you picked out but he actually decided on alone?

And all the other 1000 little things in your apartment that immediately remind you of him and bring back that dark feeling?

It’s time you finally felt better! And you realize how much you still allow yourself to be triggered in your everyday life.

Therefore: Ramadama!

Ramadama is a Bavarian word and stands for “we tidy up”.

Marie Kondo sums it up in her book “Magic Cleaning”:

Only keep what is really good for you!

Her motto: touch everything and if you have a bad feeling when you touch it, give it away or throw it away.

Conclusion

Not everything has to end up in the landfill (or recycling center). But also look at how much energy you want to invest even when throwing it away.

I tend to make short work of it and don’t want to have to discuss with eBay or flea market buyers what’s so great about the item and that it will definitely make the other person happy… After all, that’s not true…!

It may be that this process of exchanging old, unpleasant experiences with new, personal (purchasing) decisions takes a long time and also depends on your wallet.

Be patient with yourself. You decide how fast you walk, my dear!

Is what I described above scientifically proven and backed up by studies? Nope.

Will it make you feel better when you’re done? Definitely.

Will it clear the space and the energy field, paving the way for a new partner and new, beautiful experiences? I believe it will.

But I can’t prove it to you – yet.

How do you see it? Have you had any experience with this? Are you one of those sensitive people who have paid attention to this from the very beginning and are now wondering why I’m dedicating an entire article to this matter of course?

I look forward to your comments below!

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