I noticed that I haven’t written about how you can improve your financial situation for quite some time.

Yet this is an important pillar in my Club of Courageous Mothers on the German site. Every other Thursday, there is an impulse there that lets club members reflect on their financial situation and thus improve it.

You might be wondering what a blog about moms with toxic ex-partners has to do with money and financial issues.

A lot, sweetheart. A hell of a lot, in fact.

After all, I personally don’t find it surprising when we have a narcissism issue on one side and sometimes enormous financial challenges on the other – completely independent of whether or not we have to go to court.

Both of these issues have to do with energy and therefore your attraction.

Your thoughts form beliefs by thinking them over and over again.

And what you think every day confirms your reality – sooner or later.

So if you believe that you are financially dependent on your toxic ex, you will have that confirmed.

If you believe that you will never have enough money because your parents, your grandparents, and your great-grandparents have always been poor, then that’s exactly how it will be.

If you believe that you can’t handle money, your account will always be in the red.

If you believe that money is strictly limited and you will never get a piece of the pie, because only the evil rich divide the pie among themselves – then you limit yourself.

Yes, you are limiting yourself.

No one else can get you out of your financial situation but yourself.

It would blow up this blog if I went through all the common money beliefs with you right now that you should dissolve in your life.

There are so many of them!

Money beliefs are a lot like layers of onions. From time to time, you’ll uncover one, and then you can focus on dissolving and transforming it – toward one that lets you move forward.

Because no one – including you! – is doomed to live in poverty forever. Nor is there a poverty gene.

Nor is education a guarantee that you’ll always have money at your disposal. There are far too many academics who are living on welfare.

Even various diseases or even the wheelchair do not condemn you to poverty.

And certainly not your status as a single parent!

If you want to start to learn to think differently, in order to draw more money into your life, then please read on.

If, on the other hand, I have already made you colossally upset because you automatically start to justify your financial limitations that make you incapable of generating a good or even better income, then you should stop reading now and find another read – because anything I offer now will not resonate with you.

One (new) belief I’d like to offer you here as a foundation for all future beliefs about money:

It’s easy.

Money will always find you as long as you are doing what you love to do. When you’re in the flow and forget about time.

Sweetheart, you are special! 💯

You know this.

Your innate abilities + your acquired knowledge + your life experiences + your ideas add up to a very unique combination on this earth.

There’s no such thing as a second time!

Especially if you have had particularly negative and difficult experiences in your life, these can be an initial spark for great ideas.

However, you must also be receptive to such ideas. Your antennas have to point in the right direction, so that you can receive and process the signals correctly.

As long as you argue that you can’t do anything else than what you are doing right now, and you feel extremely uncomfortable in this situation, you will batten down the hatches.

The first step you should take at this point:

Ask yourself: What activities do I clearly get into a flow with?

Is it when you get to juggle numbers? When writing? When inventing stories? When singing? When playing games? Or whatever?

What could you do all day if they let you?

Now please don’t come at me with “Curling up on the couch with a bag of chips and searching through my favorite show on Netflix.” Unfortunately, that’s just an attempt to escape from a difficult reality and not deal with what your job actually is.

At least, if a deep sense of satisfaction doesn’t settle in afterward, you’ve fallen right for it.

And that very feeling is your barometer: Satisfaction.

Deeply satisfying.

That’s what your job should be. Whether you’re employed or self-employed.

That’s what you should feel all day long as you go about your task.

Then you know you’re doing the right thing for you.

Which doesn’t automatically mean that your mom, your girlfriend, your new partner or even your ex will agree!

Especially if, for example, you take an unbridled pleasure in sewing doll clothes, which used to be so ridiculed, that’s a clue. Go after it!

I assure you: if you pursue the activities you love to do with all your heart, you will get inspiration and ideas in the form of impulses.

And then it is mega important how you deal with it:

Do you wave off “No way!” or do you immediately take the next small step in this direction?

Do you notice the negative belief set that comes up, analyze it, decide to kick it in the garbage can and replace it with a new one?

Or do you decide “We’ve never done it that way before – who am I?”

And that’s exactly what an elementary step is.

The difference between bringing a new spark into the world with your uniqueness or not.

And every single spark is financially rewarded.

Abundantly.

Do you actually know what makes the difference between a rich or poor home?

The beliefs that you have adopted from the beginning.

We may put to the test the beliefs we used to adopt as children from the all-knowing adults.

You are fully grown now.

Your parents didn’t know any better and did their best.

Thank them for that.

Now it’s your turn to show your child how it can be done. Mistakes are part of the game. Your child will also learn to unravel his beliefs later.

Let me now briefly summarize this again

1. Get clear about what you are particularly good at and passionate about – no matter what others might have against it. What have you always been praised for – even in school?
2. Do this as often as you can. Produce in yourself the feeling of deepest satisfaction – whenever possible.
3. Notice what sparks of ideas suddenly appear in you. Write them down right away.
4. Your best indicator that you are on the right path: goose bumps.

Every path is unique. Some find their calling very early, some – like me – rather late.

Looking back today, my current day-to-day activities are a combination of everything I love to do – I started very early with a hunger for reading and writing, was praised for my essays and papers, wanted to be a nurse and help others, and earned extra pocket money tutoring on the side as a teenager.

I was a “teacher” early on.

At work, I helped other colleagues prepare for important meetings – with what they said or how they performed. Something that prepared me for Court Royal.

That’s very likely how it will be.

Chances are you’ll still have to do a supposedly negative loop or two that will teach you something special that you’ll put to great use later.

But when the goosebumps come, sweetheart, follow that impulse.

Absolutely.

Clarity will come along your path.

How can you know everything if it is not there yet?

You have to create it yourself first!

With your very unique talents and preferences and abilities, with which you were born and which you have developed in the course of your life.

And until that time comes, focus on biographies that show you that it is possible to find professional and therefore financial success even under the most adverse circumstances. They are extremely helpful in cleaning up old beliefs.

What do you think about this, sweetheart? Is there something in there for you? What could you start with right away? Please write it in the comments – let’s ignite lots of sparks together!