Well, sweetheart, what urgent decision are you currently procrastinating with?

Until 5 years ago, the term “procrastinating” itself was a foreign word to me. I first came into contact with it in the English-speaking world, at a time when I was briskly buying one online course after another and investing really (really!) large sums of money in myself.

I didn’t really understand at the time why other online entrepreneurs in the courses I had also booked hesitated for so long and did nothing. Who didn’t do the assignments and didn’t show up after the first live call.

I rushed through the modules, spent hours working on the assignments, participated live whenever I could.

I stayed “on it.”

And was able to achieve clear and very quick successes. If not financially, at least mentally!

So, and before you look back at all the courses you’ve already bought and not worked on, let me explain that there’s no reason to be grumpy with yourself.

After all, haven’t we learned that it’s good to tackle everything and get it done right away?

“What you can do today, don’t put off until tomorrow!” Raise your hand if you have also heard this sentence in the past!

I want you to make friends with procrastination today.

Procrastination is a sure signal from within you that something is amiss

And that means for you to take a closer look and ask yourself this question:

Am I putting it off because it’s not part of my path or because it pushes me out of my comfort zone?

And oh – that question will bring you into clarity!

• How do you think a mother who is in a toxic narcissistic relationship and who keeps putting off and not addressing the research for a good lawyer who knows about pathological adversaries will answer this question?
• How will a woman who keeps delaying getting up on Monday morning and hitting the snooze button umpteen times because she’s dreading the new work week in this office with these colleagues answer the question?
• How will a self-employed person who bought a course that will help her become more visible so she can get more clients, but is afraid to post the first video to the group, answer this question?
• How will a student who has begun a course of study that was offered to her by her parents and teachers, but who is simply not making progress and is missing important deadlines, answer this question?

One thing is clear: at the moment when you approach something with relish, you don’t need anyone from the outside to drive you and “motivate” you.

I breezed through my classes because I was driven by my “why”: to help mothers with a toxic narcissistic Ex partner become strong again so they can raise strong children.

That’s what drives me!

By the time I realized my true mission, however, I had already been tinkering with my self-employment for over a year before that. I will never forget the fall of 2016 – I was trapped in my reluctance to get involved in this dark topic of narcissism and just couldn’t get away from it.

Until I then announced quite clearly at the end of December / beginning of January that I would only work with these mothers – and in a new way: With a focus on solutions and pragmatic coaching approaches, without delving into the topic of narcissism.

Procrastination shows up even when you’re a “doer.”

However, we women in particular often tend to ignore the slightest procrastination impulse within and carry on anyway.

Whatever has to be done, has to be done!

Ignoring and pushing things aside is never good advice, Sweetheart, if you want to have a happy life in which you are at peace with yourself.

The malaise will only grow and manifest itself in overwork, burnout, and illnesses that will force you to rest and do nothing.

So I’d like you to pay attention to your procrastination behavior and ask yourself the question above, “Is this my – too narrow – comfort zone now, or just not my path?”

If it is not your path

At some point we all come to realize that we are not our parents. Not our brothers and sisters, and not any other woman.

We are all UNIQUE.

Each and every one of us has a very wonderful, unique combo of talents and learned skills that makes them very special.

And this special thing has to be shown and offered in the job or service or product market and is therefore EXCELLENT.

So if you were pushed by parents to study medicine, but you love to paint and draw funny comics, THAT is your path, and not that of a fabulous but unhappy doctor. But maybe you can draw funny comics of everyday hospital life, and BINGO – you can take the experiences of your past and not have to struggle with having been bullied by your parents.

Unless you are enthusiastic about your task and jump out of bed with joy on Monday and spend the days in flow and everything doesn’t come easily to you…. Yes, then, sweetheart, that means you still have to find your way. 

 EVERY one of your days should look EXACTLY like this.

This is what it looks like to live your dream life and fulfill your life’s mission.

When you can make your skills shine.

And everything at once is easy and a lot of fun.

Don’t do any less than that, sweetheart!

Don’t settle for less just because someone is rubbing your current reality in your face!

Which brings us to the second point: Your comfort zone

If you’re in a comfort zone that’s actually way too small, then you’ve most likely internalized certain beliefs that are effectively preventing you from growing.

And then the field becomes huge.

“Who am I?”

“Cobbler, stick to your last!”

“As a single mother, I never have a chance anyway!” (Ahem.)

“I’m not pretty enough for the camera.”

“I’m a victim.”

“I’m not worth it.”

“I’ll never be able to afford it because I’m not smart enough.”

“I’m not good enough.”

Do you know how you can tell that you have internalized such unattractive beliefs (all of which, by the way, are not true)?

By catching yourself making such statements:

“I can’t afford that.”

“I don’t have the money, and I won’t be able to change that anytime soon.”

“The house? I’ll never be able to do that.”

“The reality is this. You have to make do with what you have.”

“I don’t have time.”

“Out of my league.”

Etc.

Conclusion

Your limitations are only in your head, sweetheart. Once you understand that, you’ve found the key to a fulfilling life (no shit now!).

Therefore, if you are constantly putting something off, notice your inner bastard and ask yourself: Am I putting this off because it’s not my path or because it takes me out of my comfort zone?

And act accordingly.

Whenever you have a decision to make now that will open the door to more growth – make it NOW.

Right NOW.

Your future self will thank you one day.